Building Mastery
by Elisa Pompeo, LMSW
A few weeks ago I noticed that I was in a rut when it came to my physical activity. Between the colder shorter days, and lack of quality sleep, I wasn’t feeling my best. I didn’t feel confident about my physical well being. I decided to choose a new goal to work towards to change this lack of confidence. This goal was to move my body everyday and gain more strength – and it is harder than I imagined.
Once I set my intention, I noticed that I needed more help to navigate my lack of confidence. I turned to the DBT skill of building mastery. Building mastery is a skill in the emotion regulation module. The skill teaches us how to gain knowledge and ability in something, like exercising as an opportunity to also better regulate emotions. Emotion regulation encourages us to initially set a goal. Then, it asks us to do one small thing at a time, with intention, and build on the intensity each time. Eventually, we hope to build up to doing more difficult tasks. This skill doesn’t have to be only applied to exercise of course, it can be painting or creating art, finishing a book, learning how to play the piano, doing your chores, getting to school on time every day, and so much more.
My personal journey, started once I set my intention to build mastery. Once I decided to set my mind to building mastery on my physical activity, I got to work. The first day, I talked to a friend about local gyms they would recommend. The next day I walked to one gym and signed up for a trial. The third day I went and explored the gym with a friend and used a few machines. Eventually, I was confident enough to start going consistently, and doing a little more difficult tasks each time.
I realized that my low self esteem was hindering my execution of this plan. Sometimes low self-esteem can get in the way of building mastery. Some examples of this are self-judgement thoughts like “I should be able to just do this” or “It’s stupid and it will be too hard”, or “It’s silly to want to do this”. I reminded myself that the small step I took was a huge accomplishment, even if it didn’t feel like it at first! Each day that I can build on my skills, creates a sense of accomplishment. Eventually, building mastery helps one brighten your self-esteem.
Building mastery is a great skill to use when you want to create some structure and increase confidence. Pick something to work towards right now, and use building mastery to make an action plan! What kinds of things do you want to work towards?
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