Week of January 1st

PLEASE Skills

Lauren Siegel, LMSW

As the holidays grew closer, many of us left our typical routines for the excitement and slight chaos that is the end of the year. As we travel, see family, celebrate, and reflect on our trip around the sun, there is much joy to be found in the closing of the year. However, for many of us December also brought unique vulnerabilities and stressors.

During this period, PLEASE Skills, skills that allow us reduce our vulnerability to emotions by taking care of our bodies, seem to take a backseat as time off from work, festive celebrations, and travel take hold. Attention to sleep, exercise, balanced eating, and limiting mood-altering substances can seem totally antithetical to the indulgent and unstructured nature of the holidays. Ironically, for many of us the holidays are a time when we need these skills the most, as challenging family dynamics, stressful travel experiences, and adjusting to different time zones test our emotion regulation skills.

News articles and Instagram posts alike describe the amorphous nature of the time between Christmas and New Year’s, where structure and routine seem to go out the window. For me this time often seems alluring – a break from the fast-paced and often demanding nature that is modern life. And while I love a celebration as much as the next person, I notice this lack of routine has the power to throw me off kilter. In this odd period before a new year begins, we may find ourselves eating pie for breakfast, spending a few too many hours down internet rabbit holes, and maybe even forgetting what day it is (or is this just me?). And while the break from reality is in many ways welcome, I notice myself feeling unbalanced and disoriented by the time we ring in the new year.

My skipped workouts, later evenings and mornings, and dinners of strawberry licorice and an extra glass of bubbly fail to set me up to withstand the many stressors of the season. This year, I’m challenging myself to find balance between relaxation and structure, noting a need for a slower pace while holding onto the PLEASE skills that make me feel regulated. In the first week of January, I plan to maintain an exercise routine, prioritize sleep, and fuel my body with foods that make me feel good (licorice on the side, of course). I’m striving to hold the dialectic of rest and routine in a season marked by change and transition.

So, as we approach the new year, I invite you to consider your own PLEASE skills. In a time where our routines are challenged, if not abandoned, how can we continue to take care of our bodies in order to take care of our minds? Can we find room for indulgence alongside the regimens that keep us grounded? I think this could be the secret to a happier, healthier new year.

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