Inspirations

New Beginnings

by Sydney Brant

Growing up I spent time doing puzzles with friends and family. I gravitated to the puzzle aisle in the stores as my favorite TV show characters or animals were displayed on the 25-piece puzzle boxes. then the vibrant pictures of animals as I graduated and moved on toward the 100-piecera. The bright colors and engaging images were not the only thing that sparked my interest in doing puzzles. It was also the process.

Puzzles can vary in the amount of pieces, size, and shapes of the puzzles. Some puzzles have more boxey-straight edges, while others implement more rounded curvatures. Some puzzles are cardboard pieces, while others are plastic. There are 2-D puzzles that lay flat and others that are 3-D.

With my mom’s guidance and practice over the years, I’ve picked up and learned many different strategies for puzzle making. Routinely, I first find the straight edge pieces that create the border of the puzzle. This feels like a great way to dip my toes into the process. Next, I try to sort the pieces by color, or notice if there is a distinct design that would separate pieces from one another. Before jumping in fully, I analyze the image on the box to see the challenge that lies ahead. The box is like a roadmap. I frequently reference it for validation of the difficult  challenge, direction and sense of accomplishment.

The anticipation leading up to piecing together the last pieces is like none other. My heart starts to race and I become eager to fit them in as quickly as possible. The finished product always calls for some reflection of the process, admiration, acknowledgement of when I felt stuck, and appreciation for any cheerleading and collaboration I got from others. I would also show it off to anyone willing to take a glance!

Like many things, once you complete something, you have to think about what’s next and start a new puzzle.

New beginnings can involve a lot of acceptance and change. Accepting your accomplishment, the process, the hard work, the ups and downs and the budding progress of your skills. Change can require you to say goodbye and move on to something new. I can accept that I can’t keep the completed puzzle on my coffee table forever and not want to rip it up to make space for something new. In order to continue to build and learn new skills, we have to accept our past experiences, acknowledge how they have served us and lead us to our goals and appreciate those involved who have helped us get there. We might not want to say goodbye and wipe our slate clean for a new puzzle, but we can always hold on to parts of it. We might not be able to take old puzzle pieces and fit them exactly into the new ones, but we can continue to find the straight edges, sort by colors and use our roadmap!

New beginnings are hard. It involves a lot of uncertainty, acceptance and change. As you are starting something new, I would challenge you to think about what skills you want to take with you to this new experience? How are you balancing both acceptance and change?

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Anxiety

by Dylan Levitt

Anxiety. The loudest, most obnoxious voice in your head. The one that you can never quite mute no matter how hard you try.

Living with anxiety is like always fighting a battle you probably will not win, but you attempt to anyway because you have to survive. No part of this disease is easy, but that does not mean that we have to let it keep us from dreaming.

I have been really fortunate in my life, at least in some areas. I have received opportunities that I never could have imagined and my heart has grown because of them. And as much as I have an immense amount of praise for what I have been able to accomplish, it unfortunately does not quiet that annoying pest that lives inside of me.

When my anxiety bubbles up before a speech or a podcast or an interview, I like to take a few deep breaths and pause. Think about what I am going to say and give myself some time to collect my thoughts. I don’t ignore my anxiety, in fact I use it as fuel to keep going.

When it comes to those feelings, we have a few different options. We can let our anxiety hold us back or we can give our all to whatever it is that we are doing and hope that we have the control.

Anxiety is a sharp, little sucker. It finds its way into each and every one of our cracks, filling them up until our minds are consumed. But we don’t have to allow it to keep us from achieving our goals. Anxiety takes so much from us, so why should we let it take even more?

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The Connection Between Mindfulness and Pilates

by Heather Oros, LCSW

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Building Mastery

Summertime schedules often offer people more time to focus on themselves, knock some things off of a to-do list, explore new places, try out the new restaurant down the block, or pick up some new hobbies! For the past few months I have been looking forward to taking advantage of these longer, lighter days to exercise. I’ve envisioned the runs I’ve wanted to go on, the weights I’ve wanted to lift, and the videos I’ve wanted to follow with the catchy music and built-in instructor cheering me on! Setting an intention and naming some of these aspirations was a solid first step.  Surprisingly, I have found myself more stuck in the vision rather than the application.

            I realize that maybe my goals were too large to get myself back into it. Maybe past experiences have gotten in the way of my ability to really put my sneakers back on and go for that jog. I realize that I need to start smaller, dip my toes in and build mastery of the process of daily intentional movement rather than jumping right back in.

I have named my new goal of doing 5 pushups, a minute plank, and 5 more pushups everyday. I noticed some judgements and comparisons to my previous athletic career, but I have redirected my thoughts to focus on the present. Even though 10 total pushups and a minute plank might not be a lot, it is a great next step to set a goal, make a plan and build mastery of the two exercises. Part of my plan is thinking about how I can hold myself accountable. Thinking about doing minimal exercise to engaging in a daily regime is a lot and not easy! I turned to my mom, who has expressed similar physical interests, and asked if she would want to be my teammate in this effort.

My mom and I laid out some expectations and goals. Our main goal is to listen to our bodies and complete our two sets of pushups and a plank each day. We can add 1 pushup and 10 seconds to our plank once our previous set became easy and our body felt equipped for more. We are on day 7 of our practice and have found it to be extremely fulfilling. When adding more pushups to our practice, we have felt a sense of mastery of the skills and implementing a daily practice. Building mastery is a DBT skill in the emotion regulation module to help individuals feel a sense of competence and achievement. Even though my judgments, as well as feedback from others, about starting with 5 pushups seemed comical, setting an intention, naming a goal, and achieving it everyday has made me feel empowered. It has demonstrated how taking steps to attain your goal not only gets you closer to it, but exemplifies that you are capable and have the power to control and change different parts of your life.

This week I challenge you to set one goal for yourself and write it down on a piece of paper. Once complete, return to that paper, check it off, and reflect on the experience. How did it feel to set and complete a goal? How was the process for you? What made the practice challenging? How might you build mastery of this task?

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Companion Planting and The Validating Environment
Lucy Howell, LCSW

If you have ever had a bouquet of flowers, a bit of landscaping around your home, or a small herb garden, then you are aware that at the very least plants need sun, water, and nutrient rich soil in order to thrive. Companion planting, a gardening technique that involves strategically pairing plants to maximize the health and vitality of a garden, is important in horticulture and also as a metaphor to illustrate the importance of a validating environment within the BioSocial Theory from DBT.

In companion planting, specific plants are deliberately chosen and cultivated together because they benefit one another in various ways. Some plants repel pests that may harm their companions, while others improve soil quality or attract pollinators who will fortify your garden. For example, Nasturtiums can protect your basil and peppers from an aphid infestation, while Marigolds will repel root-rot. The “Three Sisters” method of planting refers to the intentional placing of beans, corn, and squash together as they bare genetic traits that enhance the quality of the soil and eventual harvest. On the darker side, brassicas such as broccoli and cauliflower should never be planted with corn. They are incompatible and produce nothing but hostility together, leaving them vulnerable to disease and eventual rot.

The BioSocial Theory in DBT teaches us about the transactional relationship between a persons biological factors and social environments in shaping behavior and emotional well-being. It emphasizes the interplay of biological factors, such as genetics and neurobiology, with social factors, such as family dynamics, relationships, and cultural influences. This theory underscores the validating social environment as a crucial piece in the safe and healthy development of a person. An invalidating environment runs the risk of reinforcing maladaptive patterns of behavior and/or the long lasting effects of trauma.

Just as companion plants benefit from specific, nutrient dense conditions to thrive, individuals within a validating environment may have diverse needs and vulnerabilities. A validating environment sees and addresses these differences, providing accurate support and resources to meet each person’s unique requirements.

While we don’t always get to choose “choose our garden”, there are things we can do to protect ourselves from unwanted pests. In gardening, we regularly look for signs of mildew, slugs, dry leaves, and wilt. When we observe signs of aggression, we take care by using a concoction of sprays or give a little extra love in the form of a fancy plant food. You, too, can use skills to recover from invalidation when it happens.

What environments do you find yourself feeling most validated? Who are your companions? What do you do to recover from invalidation?

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Perserverance and Willingness
Nick Urban, LCSW

Perseverance is the key to overcoming obstacles and achieving success in life. It is the unwavering determination and resilience to keep pushing forward, even in the face of adversity. Perseverance allows us to navigate through challenges, setbacks, and failures, ultimately leading to personal growth and the accomplishment of goals. When you embrace perseverance, you develop a mindset that failure is not the end, but rather an opportunity to learn and improve. This mindset fuels the Willingness to continue your efforts, adapt your strategies, and persistently work towards your objectives.

Some DBT skills are the launching point for deciding to use additional techniques.  They set the stage for us to accept reality and take action.  Examples include STOP, Pros and Cons, and, of course, Willingness.  In DBT, the skill of Willingness plays a crucial role in promoting mental wellbeing and effective problem solving. Willingness refers to the ability to accept and engage with the present moment, even if it is uncomfortable, upsetting, painful, or difficult. It involves being open-minded, flexible, and ready to face challenging situations head-on. By cultivating Willingness, you can let go of willfulness, resistance, and avoidance, allowing you to fully experience and address your emotions and circumstances. This skill enables you to access your Wise Mind and overcome fear and self-doubt, leading to increased resilience, improved decision making, and a greater sense of control over your life.

Will all of the DBT skills work for you?  No.  Will the ones that do, work every time?  That’s not guaranteed.  And yet, with a Willingness to face challenges directly, you can tap into your inner strength and find the determination to persevere, no matter what obstacles lie in your path.

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What I Learned From Digging in the Dirt
Alex Wilt, LCSW

As kids, we seem to effortlessly possess a deep fascination for life. The world is this exciting, fascinating place for play and opportunity. Even something as simple as looking at bugs or building a sandcastle becomes an incredible, magical mission. As we get older, our to-do’s get longer and our goals become bigger- college, social plans, work, city living- the experience of life as it plays out does not often naturally lend to many opportunities for digging in the dirt.

I certainly am no exception to this experience. And as a new homeowner, I anxiously started adding up my list of to-dos. On top of that list was the seemingly tedious task of pulling weeds. I looked around at my neglected, weed-ridden flower beds, and I decided one sunny day to roll up my sleeves and get to work- weeding and gardening for the first time in my life. What I did not realize was that I would be embarking on a tremendous mindfulness activity, one that would lead me to experience something as seemingly simple as “dirt” in a way I never expected.

As I put on my gardening gloves and grabbed a shovel, it felt a bit like I was getting my armor on for a solo mission. There was a clear goal- pull as many weeds as you can, as quickly as you can, without getting dirty. And it started as such- I bulldozed through the first 20 minutes, feeling rather rushed and overwhelmed as I tried to tame the vast expanse of weed-ridden flower beds. There was so much to do, and as I tried moving as quickly as possible, I felt myself tensing and white-knuckling through the repetitive and tedious task.

However, as time went on, I realized what I was in for, the immense task that was before me. I tried a different strategy- I surrendered control of determining the outcome and starting to focus on the process itself. I noticed the cold ground I was sitting on and my attention began to shift to what was in my hands and in my awareness. To my surprise I noticed an entire ecosystem at my fingertips. I began to observe bugs on a mission to grab their next meal. When I pulled a plant, I was in awe of the intricate plant root structures, the beauty of a “weed.” I heard birds and squirrels sprinting around the yard. I noticed the feel of dirt in my hands, and felt the pressure tug and release as I pulled each plant. My urgency to finish the task fell and my brain simply allowed me to just be with this amazing moment I had been overlooking.

The DBT mindfulness skill called “Participate” is all about throwing ourselves fully into the present moment, and mindfully attending to what’s in front of us. When we are fully participating, we often feel “in flow,” responding smoothly to the ebbs and flows of the moment without overthinking. Nothing speaks of full participation more than a kid playing outside, running around, finding bugs, and making forts. Full participation is where I found myself while gardening, as I allowed myself to be present in what was in front of me.

As adults, this practice of full participation is a skill to relearn, as our goal-focused, expectation-laden mind likes to take us out of the present, pulling us back to the past or driving us into the future as we try to make sense of things. Participating allows us to observe and describe a more rich experience. While weeding, I found myself in awe of things I never paid any attention to before, and while I took it in, my brain and body felt at ease.

Our goal in implementing DBT mindfulness skills is to notice when we find ourselves outside of the moment- lost in the past, future, or our expectations of the moment. This is our cue to lean back and take in with the senses- practicing observing, describing, and fully participating in the present. We might just find that something as seemingly boring as dirt offers us an awe-inspiring, fascinating, and insightful experience.

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Being Grounded

During busier times of the year I find myself struggling to be one-mindful in the present moment. Recently, I have noticed I am rushing to each commitment or task on my calendar. I have noticed myself physically running to different commitments or tasks throughout the day and feel, at times, that I am going through the motions. I have felt like the days are flying by and that there are not enough hours in a day to get everything done. My body has been telling me to slow down through the tightness in my chest and neck.

Even though I have taken time to stop, slow down and reflect on how to be one-mindful and present in the moment, I have still fallen short. It wasn’t until an instance last week while coaching lacrosse practice that I realized why I’ve felt like I have been gliding on ice.

Amidst a chaotic practice, someone mentioned how the stream adjacent to the field was finally rushing with water after a few days of heavy rain. It wasn’t until I mindfully paid attention to the sound of the running water that I realized I have been yearning for feeling grounded and centered in the present moment. Even though this brief moment was only a few seconds, it felt like an eternity. I was flooded with relaxation and felt fully present at practice.  I realized the importance of connecting with my external surroundings and utilizing my senses to be fully present in the moment.

Similarly in mindfulness practices we encourage participants to focus on their breath, or the sound of the leader’s voice, to help ground them in the present moment. Our five senses can help us feel centered. Instead of letting my days “fly by”, I am choosing to slow down, connect with my environment and focus on my breath when turning my attention to another part of my day. This week, I would challenge you to find something in your environment that you can turn to to help slow you down and become more present.

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