Metro NY DBT Center

Serving New York & New Jersey

Inspirations

Week of April 19th

Boundaries and Limits

As we move towards a post pandemic world, and COVID restrictions begin to let up, now is a perfect time to contemplate our capacity to push past our limits. We all should take an opportunity to notice our vulnerabilities and to decide whether to set a limit or to extend our boundaries. Setting limits is the act of deciding what you are willing to accept from others (and yourself), of feeling safe within your designated boundaries, and of drawing a line in the sand before your behavior changes.

In DBT, we talk about observing boundaries and limits as an important skill. Remember, your limits are there for a variety of reasons, so it is important to understand and maintain them when challenged. Observing your limits is essentially holding them rather than allowing others (or oneself) to cross them. These lines in the sand are there to protect us from an actual or a perceived threat. Our boundaries can also be helpful as a cue to attend to the present moment and proceed mindfully, including, in relationships.

Each peer, family member and co-worker is trying to reorient themselves to the “new normal” in this post-pandemic environment. This week, if you start to feel as though a loved one or friend has pushed beyond your personal limits, we invite you to try observing them. Can you practice your STOP skills? How can you stay firm, and communicate your needs? Be kind to yourself if it feels difficult – know you are trying your best!

 

WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK

SKILL REHEARSAL
Can you practice mindful awareness of discomfort this week? How is this discomfort a cue to a boundary or limit being challenged?
What is the function of this limit?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
How to set boundaries with family and stick to them
by NPR.org

TED TALKS
Good boundaries free you | Sarri Gilman

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
Creating Mini Pallet Coasters by thecraftyblogstalker.com

 

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of April 12th

EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY

Trees are in bloom, birds are singing, and the sun is starting to beam.  As we said previously, many find the spring season a welcomed change, while others may take longer to adjust.  Many are getting their vaccines, camps are reopening for the summer, and social gatherings continue to increase in numbers.  These hopeful changes are inspiring, and at the same time prompt emotional vulnerability after a long winter and adaption to a pandemic lifestyle.  This week we will focus on small challenges and emotional vulnerability.

We all have innate emotional sensitivities to different stimuli.  For some, it is more reactive and intense. When we experience emotional overwhelm, we may think, “what is wrong with me?” We wonder when the “storm” will pass, which can sometimes feel like forever. In DBT, we focus on returning to the function of emotions to help ground us in our own emotional vulnerabilities. It is important we use mindfulness techniques to become aware of our emotional experiences with curiosity instead of judgment. What is this sensation communicating to me? What is this telling me about myself? How is this emotional experience impacting others? These questions are challenging to access while feeling emotionally vulnerable, and at the same time can help activate our wise minds.

In addition to activating our wise minds, it is critical that we remind ourselves to walk the middle path and remain balanced.  Our emotion regulation skills are centered around reducing our own vulnerabilities to our emotion minds. In particular, when noticing emotional vulnerability, a great skill to check in with are our PLEASE skills. These skills are centered around modulating our emotions. Have I been sleeping? Have I eaten anything today?  Am I over-caffeinating myself? When was the last time I moved my body?  These are all helpful questions that can help recenter our emotional overload, and help us return to baseline.

This week we ask you to check in with your emotional overload. Where are you noticing overwhelm? When was the last time you took care of yourself, and prioritized balance? We challenge you to slow down and focus on your sensations as signals to help guide you to a more wise and centered space.


WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK

SKILL REHEARSAL
We encourage you to practice your STOP skills. Once you slow down, can you mindfully attend to your sensations?
What self soothing can you do for each of your senses?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
Giving Up Isn’t an Option: Turn Your Pain Into Something Powerful with Tracy Cova‪l‬
by Apple Podcast

TED TALKS
All It Takes is 10 Mindful Minutes by Andy Puddicombe
By Ted.com

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
DIY Calming Kits for Kids by theinspiredtreehouse.com

 

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of April 5th

LEVITY

With our days getting longer and the skies a bit brighter, we have been mindful to the sensations of warmth and sunlight. We have noticed an easy smile, relaxed shoulders, and a rhythmic drumming in our chests as we begin our march to summer. These observations are a stark contrast to what we were noticing in our winter months, and they have us considering the functions of light both literally and figuratively.

Concretely, light helps us to see what we otherwise cannot. A metaphorical conceptualization affiliates light with lightheartedness, an easy manner, and levity. This week, we are paying attention to how humor helps change our perspectives to help us see things in new ways.

We all love a good joke. The pros of humor and laughter seem endless! For one, we get to break with the seriousness of life and be playful with a looser, sillier side of our minds. Laughter can bring people together, diffuse conflict, and ease the emotional burden of everyday mishaps. When misused, humor can be invalidating or outright offensive. Maladaptive humor responses could also be avoiding our own emotions, or the emotions of others. When we walk the middle path with using humor, we both see the vulnerability of the moment and simultaneously choose a lighthearted interpretation as a way to get through it.

Can you remember the last time you laughed? What prompted the giggle? We look forward to hearing your funny stories and good jokes if you’ve got ‘em!


WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK

SKILL REHEARSAL
Please try capturing your laughter this week. Let’s practice our accumulating positive skill. Can you try to find one opportunity each day for laughter? Try to be mindful of your bodily sensations as you laugh. Do you notice your facial muscles? Try to note your thoughts. Do you notice the urge to share your laughter?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
Laughter: The Best Medicine
by NPR

TED TALKS
Play is More than Just Fun | Stuart Brown
By Ted.com

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
Mason Jar Candles by gardentherapy.ca

 

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of March 29th

POSSIBILITIES

Spring is upon us in the Northeast. This new season, more than any other, brings new beginnings. The birds begin to chirp, the trees begin to bud, and the flowers begin to bloom. Spring is also a time of transition; the cold dark nights fade away into warm sunny days. Hopefully, the warmer weather and longer periods of light are reducing your vulnerabilities to emotion dysregulation. Accordingly, Spring is a time of possibility and opportunity.  Can you see the new opportunities?  Do you find yourself with a renewed interest in movement and self care? It is important to bring intention to the present in order to benefit from the current seasonal change.

During this season of movement and transition, do you rise easily? After a long winter during a pandemic, many can find the new season a welcomed change. Have you had to use your radical acceptance skills to transition into Spring?  Have you cultivated a beginners mindset in order to be as willing as possible?


WORDS OF WISDOM

words of wisdom

CURRENT EVENTS

SKILL REHEARSAL
Can we practice beginners mind this week as we rediscover the changes in our environment?
What do you notice that’s new? What colors do you see in nature that have been missing in winter?
Are you aware of new sounds or more intense sound?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
Podcast Episode 089: Turning Challenges Into Our Most Rewarding Experiences with Eric Winters
by Potential Psychology

TED TALKS
The secret to great opportunities? The person you haven’t met yet | Tanya Menon
By Ted.com

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
Bubble Paint Bouquets by myjoyfilledlife.com

 

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of March 22nd

FEAR

We are officially rolling into Spring this week, and the weather is showing it. Along with the added sunshine, there have been some horrific events of hate in the news recently. It is safe to say that all of us are saddened by these acts of violence. Sometimes fear can lead to negative judgements. We take this week as an opportunity to remind everyone why it is important to challenge our fears and judgments of others.

When we notice fears pop up in ourselves, it is easy to feel alarmed. Instead of following fearful judgments, we can try stopping and slowing down. In DBT, we practice loving kindness in our mindfulness exercises. In this practice, we actively send love and compassion to ourselves first, then others, in an effort to let go of judgements.

Can you think of a recent time when something scared you? Can you remember the last time that you had negative judgments that led to hostile feelings? We hope you can use your STOP skill, slow down and practice loving kindness. How can you practice more love and compassion this week?


WORDS OF WISDOM

CURRENT EVENTS

SKILL REHEARSAL
This week can you practice mindfulness if judgements?
Can you practice bringing loving kindness to your judgmental mind?
What do you notice when you practice compassion when observing judgement?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
Episode 012: We Hear You
by SelfEvidentShow.com

TED TALKS
What We Can Do About The Culture of Hate | Sally Kohn
By Ted.com

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
Random Acts of Kindness by thirtyhandmadedays.com

 

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of March 15th

BEGINNER’S MIND

Here we are one year into the pandemic. Many of us have leaned into newly established pandemic routines. Sweatpants are now appropriate for work calls, masks are the new essential outfit accessory, and zoom has become our “local” spot for social life and connection. Over this past year, we all have evolved by establishing new routines to cope with our unthinkable reality. Despite some new found comforts, a return to pre-pandemic life is starting to flourish. Schools are starting back in person, more are dining indoors, and some are even getting to hug grandparents and other loved ones for the first time since March 2020. In the presence of these “return to normal” changes, it is reasonable to feel discomfort and unfamiliarity. This week at Metro, we are reminded of a mindfulness concept called Beginner’s Mind.  

Beginner’s mind is about embracing a curious perspective. Amazement can occur when we take situations, no matter how often we have experienced them, with a novel outlook. When we start to take a beginner’s mind approach we open ourselves up to possibility, excitement, and the opportunity for new information.  

As the world continues to “re-open” we invite you to adopt a beginner’s mind. Allow yourself to experience old, well seasoned, pre-pandemic routines as if you are encountering them for the first time. What do you notice? What do you see, hear, or smell? We encourage you to approach your experiences, old or new, as if you are experiencing them as something new. Our hope is that you will find yourself more connected and engaged with the present moment.


WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

MEME OF THE WEEK

SKILL REHEARSAL
This week can you do one new activity each day? Please be mindful when trying each new activity.
We have a week to really practice out what skills of Mindfulness in DBT.

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
#68: The Lazy Genius Tries New Things
by Google Podcasts

TED TALKS
Try Something New for 30 Days | Matt Cutts
By Ted.com

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
New Things To Try for 30 Days

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of March 8th

TIME

A year ago today, we had no idea our lives were about to change dramatically. Most of us had not heard of Zoom, and we probably looked forward to movie nights with our neighbors, or dinner out with friends on weekends. Kids would soon be pulled from school where they and their parents relied on their social supports and extra curricular activities. Millions of people were about to get sick, and some fatally. We thought it would be a few weeks of hunkering down at home while healthcare workers helped the folks who would inevitably catch this volatile virus. Nearly 365 days later, we are looking back on a year of grief, change, fear, and hope.

This week, we are considering the function of anniversaries and making meaning out of time. If you have ever celebrated a birthday, a wedding anniversary, or perhaps a milestone since quitting a self-destructive habit, then making meaning out of time is a skill you have already used. Anniversaries serve a variety of functions. To name a few, they can prompt us to connect with others, celebrate progress, share memories, or grieve a loss.

Where were you a year ago this week? What stands out? We are looking forward to hearing how you are making meaning out of time.


WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

MEME OF THE WEEK

SKILL REHEARSAL
We hope you are continuing to build your distress tolerance mastery. In particular we are focused on the Improve Skills.
How are you making meaning out of time this week?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
Introducing the longest year a podcast about life during the pandemic
by PBS.org

TED TALKS
How the pandemic will shape the near future | Bill Gates
By Ted.com

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
The Artist’s Way: 25th Anniversary Edition
(Click below for information)

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of March 1st

GETTING ACTIVE

As the pandemic continues, many people have found themselves more and more inactive. Repetitive lockdowns, cold wet weather, and cumulative loneliness has resulted in reduced physical wellness. However, turning your mind to get physically active is imperative during the pandemic.

Physical activity is often discussed in psychological research as paramount to improved mental health.  Moving your muscles, maintaining activity and getting outdoors is correlated with increased reported levels of happiness and overall well-being. If you can’t be outdoors, stay active in your home. Today there are many ways to stay physically active within your home environment based on free Apps and other social media outlets.

This week, we are hoping to inspire a new present day goal to improve hour level of physical activity. Today’s efforts can be the becoming of a longer term fitness challenge. Start moving today as investment in tomorrow’s challenges. Metro is excited to announce a community wide effort to celebrate community, physical activity and psychological wellness. We hope you’ll join us for our Life Worth Living Fundraiser, May 2, 2021 at 12:00 pm EST. Details about our community effort to exercise together can be found at https://metronydbt.com/life-worth-living-ride-fundraiser/

WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

MEME OF THE WEEK

SKILL REHEARSAL
This week we are focusing on setting a goal with our physical health. We are focusing on our practice of PLEASE skills. Can you write down a goal for physical activity? Let’s make that goal measurable and specific! What’s something new you can add for twenty minutes this week?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
How To Get Fitter, Stronger and Be Kinder To Yourself with Alice Liveing
By Play.acast.com

TEDx TALKS
The Brain-Changing Benefits of Exercise | Wendy Suzuki
By Ted.com

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
Join us for MetroNYDBT’s Life Worth Living Ride Fundraiser
(Click below for information)

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
Click below to learn more