Metro NY DBT Center

Serving New York & New Jersey

Inspirations

Week of August 29th

Physical Vulnerability and Self Care

 

If you’ve ever been injured, or endured some type of physical vulnerability, you’re probably familiar with the sense of loss and emotions that accompany the physical damage to your body. Sometimes the emotional reactions can be just as taxing and painful as the injury itself. This week we are going to focus on the importance of self care to help minimize the effects of the physical and emotional strain our body endures when injured.

Obtaining a physical injury inevitably hinders our ability to function regularly and perform daily routines. This can be extremely frustrating and difficult to manage as it can force you to temporarily give up parts of your identity. For example, if you’re someone who loves to exercise, but has injured their leg, your ability to run is extremely limited. It’s important to remind yourself that this is temporary, and with time, your body will heal. However, why is it that injuries can be so emotionally and mentally difficult to deal with even though we can rationalize how they’ll get better and go away?

Within the past two years, I have endured a few sports related injuries that have shifted my perspective on the topic. I think it’s important to first recognize how you can experience a sense of loss and rejection when you obtain a physical injury. When I tore my labrums in both of my hips, I felt a sense of loss to that part of my body because neither hips were functioning at a sufficient level that could meet my needs. As a person who loves to be physically active, I felt a huge void in my life. My injuries had me question myself and my judgment about events leading up to the injury, “Why would I push my limits too far? Why didn’t I listen to my body better? What should I have done differently? Why is my body rejecting me?” These were just a few of many lingering thoughts I had about the injury. I was experiencing some regret and putting blame on myself.

With a great support team, I quickly learned that your recovery is a journey and you need to meet yourself where you’re at. Nothing can change the events from the past, but you have control about the future. I was reminded to practice more compassion for myself when going through this extensive recovery. Instead of focusing on the past or “what if” scenarios, I acknowledged the present. I evaluated how activities, like running, were previously an outlet for me and a form of self care that I strongly relied on. Running was part of my day that I would disconnect with my responsibilities, focus on myself, and enjoy the fresh air. Now, I still make time to get outside and connect with the world around me. It’s no workout, but it’s provided me with the same sense of ease. It’s critical to continue to implement self care even though your daily routines may be hindered. If you’re currently experiencing any type of physical vulnerability, validate your feelings about the injury, surround yourself with supportive individuals, practice compassion and forgiveness for yourself, and find new activities that are fulfilling and effectively provide you with self care.

WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK


TED TALK
Aimee Mullins: The Opportunity of Adversity

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5 Ingredient Wisconsin Mac n Cheese, Breakfast Casserole, Wisconsin Monte Cristo Sandwich

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Week of August 15th

Overstimulation

 

During the summer months, our five senses tend to heighten.  For some, there is pleasure in the feeling of sun as it beats down on our skin and the cool summer breeze as it brushes through our hair.  We may notice the smell of sunflowers, the taste of berries and citrus, the sounds of crickets and ocean waves, and the sight of water, sunrise, and sunsets.  Awareness of these sensations is crucial to our day to day as it helps us observe the outside world.  However, what happens when our sensory system becomes increasingly activated to a point of overwhelm?  This experience is referred to as sensory overload and overstimulation.

In DBT, we talk about the importance of understanding our emotional vulnerabilities in order to help reduce dysregulation.  Although summer can be enjoyable to the senses for many, it can also be a time of sensory overload, and can increase overwhelm and exhaustion.  A couple of weeks ago we wrote about the importance of slowing down to help us stay mindful of the current moment.  Summer can easily be a time of haste and burn out.  Sensations that we typically enjoy can become intrusive and hard to tolerate, especially as vulnerabilities increase.  The heat, the crowds, the feeling of time flying by, long traffic, and delays can make us more vulnerable. It is without question that if vulnerable to sensory stimulation, the natural occurrences of summer can leave us feeling overstimulated compared to other times of the year.

In order to help soothe our systems, we would like to return our focus to taking care of our sensory vulnerabilities with intention and compassion.  When vulnerable to becoming overstimulated, it is important to prioritize time to rest and recharge.  Carve out designated and frequent times to engage in a sensation that is soothing— maybe by listening to a calming sound, drinking a cold beverage, taking a walk, or wrapping yourself up in a soft blanket.  Identifying what helps soothe your system is critical in helping to counterbalance the extreme overwhelm that can come with sensory overload.  Another important intention is to practice holding your limits.  If we are aware that we become overstimulated by specific events, practice self compassion by expressing your sensory needs, or gently avoiding situations that may be overly provoking.  Additionally, rely on your distress tolerance skills to help relieve the discomfort that can occur when stimulated.  In these moments of over-arousal, the TIPP skill can serve as a crucial series of skills to assist in calming our system back to a level of more regulation.

The more we are able to understand our sensory vulnerabilities, the better we will learn how to manage and compassionately address them for ourselves.  As we approach the Fall, and the inevitable waves of stimulation, we hope you are able to take care of your system by participating in moments that allow a sense of relaxation and relief.

 

WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK


TED TALK
Chris Bailey: How to Get Your Brain to Focus

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27 Taste Safe Sensory Play, Overnight Oats with Cashews &  Tumeric, Comforting Chicken Noodle Soup

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Week of August 8th

Finding Inspiration

This week is all about finding inspiration! The idea came from a recent visit of mine to The Metropolitan Museum of Art. During my time at the art museum, I noticed that certain pieces stood out more than others. There were details that brought up a sense of curiosity and excitement.  I even began to use my sketchbook again! I became mindful of how I felt in that moment- I felt recharged and motivated!

Why are these moments so important? I think my experience illustrates this well. By connecting with something I already love, like art, I was reminded of how it felt to be around creativity. What sparks joy for you? Be mindful about how certain places, things, people, etc, make you feel. You might notice chills of excitement. Your eyes may widen and you may notice yourself with a pep in your step. Things that inspire us energize us from within.

If you haven’t felt inspired lately, or even felt stuck, try doing something small this week that is special to you. In DBT we teach a skill called accumulate positives.  Some examples from our team include mindful eating, trying new restaurants, rock climbing, connecting with hobbies that we used to love, and many more. Accumulate positives asks us to find small things that genuinely bring you joy. Then, the second step of accumulating positives includes throwing ourselves into the activity and experience the activity fully.

WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK


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Potato Latkes, Cheese Blintzes, 10 min Peach Cobbler

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Week of July 25th

Heat Wave
It’s hot! Warmer weather often means more time outdoors, eating frozen treats, swimming, and enjoying nature. So many of us look forward to this time of year to participate in activities that are unique to the season. We wait endless months for 80 degree days and cloudless skies, it is so unfortunate when summer behaves like summer and hits us with a grueling heatwave. 

Similar to an intense unwanted emotion, a heatwave is a brief summer crisis. Humans, animals, and plants are more vulnerable to biological problems that can be made worse by extended exposure to high heat. These problems include: dehydration, heatstroke, fainting, and nausea. Heatwaves bring to mind the dialectic of Acceptance and Change. To avoid making the situation worse and suffering biological consequences, we benefit most from Radically Accepting the heat, and changing our plans to keep ourselves cool. 

If are finding the rising and stagnant temperatures difficult to tolerate because you are changing your plans, noticing your garden isn’t as vibrant, or simply because you’re constantly physically uncomfortable, you are not alone. Mindfulness and Reality Acceptance teach us that we can find meaning in challenging moments and pivot toward something more effective. Stay safe, stay hydrated, and let us know how you are mindfully navigating the heat. 
 

WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK


TED TALK

The Mammalian Dive Reflex– The Beginners Guide to Free Diving

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Gazpacho, Cucumber Salad, Watermelon Fries

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Week of July 11th

Slow Down

During the summer, time feels as if it’s flying by! Days seem to pass by quickly. Experiences seem to be over in a blink of an eye. As we enter that middle point of summer, this week we are focusing on the intention to slow down.

There can be a lot of anticipation and excitement leading up to summer. Many people look forward to this time of year as they envision their summers to be relaxing, surrounded by friends and family. For some summer can include a trip. However, it’s easy to get overwhelmed as we try to satisfy the urge fit in more activity on top of our already busy schedules.

How is it that a time of year that should be more relaxing ends up causing some additional feelings of anxiety or stress? These feelings are valid and are more commonly shared among others than you may think. Take a moment and acknowledge all of the energy you have put towards everything you’ve done this summer. Whether these activities have been big or small endeavors, it’s important to recognize all of your efforts because it is not easy.

Among the overwhelming feelings that can accompany our day to day summer lives, it’s important to try to make ourselves slow down. Slowing down can look different for everyone. For some, it’s a physical break from work or pulling back from some social activities, while others practice mental breaks. For me, I gravitate towards both. I often find myself committing to too many work and social related activities, resulting in an overwhelming schedule where I’m always focused on what is next. Being in a mindset that is always thinking ahead fuels our thoughts and feelings about how fast time goes by. I have prioritized slowing down and I would encourage you to do the same.

Take more moments for yourself to do things that bring you joy. In times that feel overwhelmingly fast, I’d encourage you to think more meaningfully about how you’re interacting with your surroundings. Most recently, I found myself practicing this on a beach, examining signals from all of my senses. I steadied my breathing and interpreted the crisp, cool water rushing between my fingertips, the soft, airy sand grazing my feet, and the sound of the waves crashing the shoreline. It brought me a sense of tranquility and slowness even in the midst of typical beach commotion. I often recall this sensory experience to alleviate me from heightened stress and provide me with a sense of relaxation and slowness. As we enter this second half of summer, remember to continue to validate everything you’re doing, make more time for yourself, and slow down.

 

WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK


TED TALKSlow Down to Go Faster–The Power of Pause with Ralph Simone

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Zesty Slow Cooker Chicken BBQ, Slow Cooker Shredded Chicken Tacos, Slow Cooker BBQ Chicken

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Week of July 4th

ONE MINDFULLY

by Nataleigh Kohn, LMSW

Over the past couple weeks, we’ve been thinking a lot about participation: perhaps participation in activism and problem-solving surrounding challenging current events—and simultaneously, participation in joyful experiences that may provide momentary distraction or respite from those same events. In DBT, participation is one of our core mindfulness skills, and therefore one of the core underpinnings of everything we practice. Participation is the act of throwing your whole self into whatever it is you are doing or experiencing, and turning all of your attention toward the present moment. By participating fully in the moment, we are able to experience life more clearly, connect more fully with ourselves and others, and increase our attention and effectiveness toward achieving our goals.

So many of us struggle with mindlessness much of the time:  trying to be in ten places or complete ten different tasks at once, of running on auto-pilot, and of frequent attention to the past or the future rather than what’s right in front of or within us. It’s part of being human. And it turns out that when we are able to turn our mind and our whole self back to the present moment, we can not only be much more effective and more skillful, but also can open ourselves up to richness and beauty around us that we may have otherwise missed or taken for granted.

I have been a therapist at Metro NY DBT for three years now, and like most of our staff and clients (and the rest of the world) have experienced a great deal of change since the onset of the pandemic in March 2020. For me, the most significant change was becoming a mother for the first time in December 2021.  I could write 100 essays on the ways in which my life has transformed since my daughter was born, and the ways in which DBT skills have helped me along the way, but today we’re talking about participation. The idea of mindfulness through participation took on a whole new meaning when I became a mother.

The experience of brand-new parenthood is often overwhelming, all-consuming, and like many major life transitions, fairly difficult to comprehend or plan for until you’re in the midst of it. For me, the urge to be ten places at once, to move quickly and multitask, was constant. In the first six weeks or so, you could probably find me attempting to change a diaper, while researching the difference between various sleep training strategies on my phone, while wondering when I was going to have time to eat lunch, while attempting to narrate my every move to my infant daughter to expose her to language, while asking Siri to play Raffi. And while doing all of those things, I was often experiencing judgments about what I was or was not doing. Needless to say, I was not being mindful.

Over time, I came to understand that the urge to do everything at once—that was undoubtedly prompted by varying beliefs, judgments, and myths about my experience as a new parent—was actually taking my attention away from what was most important to me: spending valuable time with my (very cute) daughter. When I was able to let go and to allow myself to be all-in in the moment, I was able to bring much more attention to beauty and joy that I might have otherwise missed. These days, I make sure to allow myself to let go of distractions and judgment, at least for a few minutes, when spending time with my daughter. I could be playing with her, giving her a bottle, or watching her attempt to fit her entire foot into her mouth. It’s not always easy, or possible—sometimes you have to ask Siri to repeat “Baby Beluga” or realize you forgot to make lunch and scramble to order take-out. The point, though, is that I do my best to stay present.

My hope for our community this week is that we are able to participate in at least one thing in the present moment every day. Whether it’s going for a walk outside, spending time with a loved one, eating a favorite meal, or meditating, do your best to let go and to be all-in.

 

WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK


TED TALK 

What adults can learn from kids with Adora Svitak

BOOK OF THE WEEK
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ACTIVITY


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Tropical Smoothie, Summer Vegetable Soup with Pesto, Heavenly Halibut

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Week of June 20th

Interconnectedness

 

                Take a moment to pause and reflect. We would like you to observe that as you are reading this, you are connected to a web of others who are also reading these words with a shared intention. In DBT, we believe everything and every person is connected in some way. This is one of the core principles of dialectics and a mindfulness concept of interconnectedness. We live in an interconnected world, and most of our important connections are phone calls, texts, face-times and clicks away. However, we seldom stop to think about the ways we directly or indirectly impact our environments through complex ties of connection.
                When we are able to see that our personal well-being is intrinsically connected to others, we are able to access empathy, compassion, trust, collaboration, and space for different perspectives.  The past two and a half years of the pandemic have displayed how truly interconnected we all are.  The pandemic has highlighted the dialectical dilemma of our independent lifestyles with the reality of our interdependence. Suddenly, we have become hyperaware of how our personal choices can quickly impact many people.
                Taking time to see our interconnectedness can help us live a more meaningful and compassionate life.  When we allow ourselves to observe how the smallest shifts affect both direct and distant things, we are able to gain a greater sense of mindful attention, and an awareness that choices effectively alter the mutual interconnectivity of the world.
                This week, we challenge you to get mindful of the web of connections you participate in at each moment.  Take the time to slow down and observe how your deliberate actions impact your environment.  Allow yourself to notice how things within your environment are connected to a vast web of others. In doing so, we hope you are able to cultivate space, feel peace, and spread compassion.

 


WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK

PODCAST

 

 

 

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Beautiful Braided Bread, Lunchbox Pasta Salad, 25 Meatless Meals


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Week of June 6th

Pride

June is pride month! We are reminded of the achievements and voices of the LGBTQ+ community more than ever, and how hard people have fought for their own rights. Celebrations will ring throughout the month. While some will be celebrating, Pride can also remind us that some people struggle to accept themselves and their community.

The absence of acceptance can lead to suffering.  In DBT we have a skill that can help with the suffering of non-acceptance. Radical acceptance. The spirit of this skill is basically the sentiment, “it is, what it is”. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of non-acceptance in the world regarding people’s identities and how they live their lives. This can cause more suffering for people who already struggle to accept themselves.

Practicing radical acceptance sounds simple, and it can be one of the hardest skills to practice in DBT. First, observe if there is someone of something you are not accepting. This can also be something about yourself. Second, describe what you observe, without judgement or criticism. Then, turn your mind, body and spirit to fully accepting these things for what they are. Not what you think they should be. This can be tricky!

When you have a hard time accepting something, trying to alter it with destructive thoughts or actions won’t change it, and cause more suffering instead. We challenge you to practice radical acceptance this week with something that you have been resisting. We hope it will reduce some of your suffering, and allow you to celebrate and enjoy life even when things are not exactly the way you wish.

Happy Pride Month!

 


WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK

PODCAST

TED TALK

The science of love – John Gottman

BOOK OF THE WEEK
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