Metro NY DBT Center

Serving New York & New Jersey

Inspirations

Week of May 10th

CHILDREN AND MENTAL HEALTH

Covid and the pandemic have brought about a complex array of factors that have impacted our children. Without the “normal” in-person school day, children have lacked a stabilizing structure. Many days are different which brings no consistency. From a short-term perspective, there now exists an increase in social isolation, uncertainty and family angst. From a long-term perspective, we have no idea yet.

In particular, kids have struggled without seeing their friends and relatives. It is often clear kids have also worried about their health (and the health of their family) and whether or not to go to school. What is the right decision? That is a lot of responsibility and burden for a kid. Unfortunately, it is not easy to calm these worries or otherwise relieve their burden. The challenges that parents are simultaneously processing, pose an obstacle to co-regulate with their children or otherwise relieve their stress.

Accordingly, we need to help children observe and describe their experience of the pandemic. It is important we help children find language to reflect on their thoughts and actions during the past 15 months. The more we process the changes with them, the better we can problem-solve and determine next steps.

WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK

SKILL REHEARSAL
Can we practice non judgemental speech with our kids this week? Try using you STOP skills.
When engaging mindfully with children let’s try to slow dow our pace, use willingness and non judgement each day.

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
Why Toxic Positivity Doesn’t Work and Can Even Make Things Worse | Dr. Alec Miller
by Audible.com

TED TALK
Alexa Kitay | DBT a Helpful Key to Recovery
by TED.com

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to Purchase Book)


ACTIVITY
Easy Salt Dough Dinosaur Fossils by rainydaymum.co.uk

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK
Pancake Cereal on TikTok
Blueberry Mojito on TikTok
The Ultimate Blondie Recipe on TikTok

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of May 3rd

RELATIONSHIP EFFECTIVENESS

This week our Metro community joined as one in support of a suicide prevention and awareness. We organized around the importance of togetherness after months of feeling isolated and alone. Last week, we discussed the significance of community.  This week, we are focusing on vital interpersonal effectiveness skills in maintaining relationships with those important in our own lives. As we continue to progress towards “reopening” it is normative to feel anxiety in response to the idea of returning to pre-pandemic life. As we transition back to our “normal” routines and lives, our relationships and social interactions may feel unfamiliar.

In DBT, one of our interpersonal effectiveness skills focused on attending to the relationship is our GIVE skill. As we walk a middle path between observing our own limits and also starting to become more relationally comfortable with others in a safe way, the GIVE skill can assist in maintaining boundaries, the relationship, and also increase our positive interactions with others. We may all be entering into interactions with the vulnerability of unfamiliarity, and have an urge to withdrawal, react or respond in an ineffective way interpersonally. Our relationship effectiveness skills help remind us to remain gentle with others by using our non-judgmental mind, staying interested and engaged in the other person, leaning into validation, and using an easy manner to bring light heartedness forward. These skills help maintain and keep relationships, while simultaneously helping ourselves stay grounded in our own goals and priorities.

We invite you to share ways that you are using your GIVE skills in relationships that may have felt distant throughout the pandemic.  How are you maintaining interest with someone relationally? What are ways that you are using validation not only with others, but also with yourself during this vulnerable time?

 

WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK

SKILL REHEARSAL
How are you practicing the GIVE skill? As you are around people this week can you lean in and appear interested?
How will you be coping ahead to increase nonjudgmental speech in conversation?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
Pandemic Reentry Anxiety
by The 21st Show

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
DIY Friendship Bracelet by honestlywtf.com

 

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of April 26th

COMMUNITY

When the coronavirus took over we began social distancing in an effort to protect our loved ones and ourselves. During that time, we struggled to feel connected to our communities and many of us realized the importance social support has to our wellbeing. A prolonged period of feeling isolated and stuck would prompt sadness and anxiety in anyone. In particular, we know that some of our DBT consumers suffered moments of difficulty in sticking with their skills in our never ending project of building and maintaining our life worth living.

DBT is arguably its most energetic when we are feeling the traction of progress toward our life worth living goals. Clinicians and clients know this feeling well, and it keeps us pedaling through the tedious climbs that life takes us on — often times without much warning. Evidence shows us that community, connectedness, and hope for the future are all related; when we can see self in another our capacity to yes to the next moment, however painful, is increased.

This week, we want you participate fully where you find a sense of community. If you are still working on identifying what community means to you, we invite you to practice with us on Sunday, May 2nd at 12pm. We invite you to participate in a Peloton ride with Ally Love or 30 minutes of physical activity. Join us as we are one community participating in our first semi annual challenge to raise awareness for suicide prevention.

 

WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK

SKILL REHEARSAL
This week can you pause to consider your life worth living goals? What goals do you have around behavioral activation?
What two steps can you take this week towards your behavioral activation goals? How can you positively reinforce your follow through?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
Super Soul Sunday | Pema Chodron
by Oprah.com

TED TALKS
How to start a conversation about suicide | Jeremy Forbes

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
Making a pom pom rug by littleyellowwheelbarrow.com

 

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of April 19th

Boundaries and Limits

As we move towards a post pandemic world, and COVID restrictions begin to let up, now is a perfect time to contemplate our capacity to push past our limits. We all should take an opportunity to notice our vulnerabilities and to decide whether to set a limit or to extend our boundaries. Setting limits is the act of deciding what you are willing to accept from others (and yourself), of feeling safe within your designated boundaries, and of drawing a line in the sand before your behavior changes.

In DBT, we talk about observing boundaries and limits as an important skill. Remember, your limits are there for a variety of reasons, so it is important to understand and maintain them when challenged. Observing your limits is essentially holding them rather than allowing others (or oneself) to cross them. These lines in the sand are there to protect us from an actual or a perceived threat. Our boundaries can also be helpful as a cue to attend to the present moment and proceed mindfully, including, in relationships.

Each peer, family member and co-worker is trying to reorient themselves to the “new normal” in this post-pandemic environment. This week, if you start to feel as though a loved one or friend has pushed beyond your personal limits, we invite you to try observing them. Can you practice your STOP skills? How can you stay firm, and communicate your needs? Be kind to yourself if it feels difficult – know you are trying your best!

 

WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK

SKILL REHEARSAL
Can you practice mindful awareness of discomfort this week? How is this discomfort a cue to a boundary or limit being challenged?
What is the function of this limit?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
How to set boundaries with family and stick to them
by NPR.org

TED TALKS
Good boundaries free you | Sarri Gilman

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
Creating Mini Pallet Coasters by thecraftyblogstalker.com

 

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of April 12th

EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY

Trees are in bloom, birds are singing, and the sun is starting to beam.  As we said previously, many find the spring season a welcomed change, while others may take longer to adjust.  Many are getting their vaccines, camps are reopening for the summer, and social gatherings continue to increase in numbers.  These hopeful changes are inspiring, and at the same time prompt emotional vulnerability after a long winter and adaption to a pandemic lifestyle.  This week we will focus on small challenges and emotional vulnerability.

We all have innate emotional sensitivities to different stimuli.  For some, it is more reactive and intense. When we experience emotional overwhelm, we may think, “what is wrong with me?” We wonder when the “storm” will pass, which can sometimes feel like forever. In DBT, we focus on returning to the function of emotions to help ground us in our own emotional vulnerabilities. It is important we use mindfulness techniques to become aware of our emotional experiences with curiosity instead of judgment. What is this sensation communicating to me? What is this telling me about myself? How is this emotional experience impacting others? These questions are challenging to access while feeling emotionally vulnerable, and at the same time can help activate our wise minds.

In addition to activating our wise minds, it is critical that we remind ourselves to walk the middle path and remain balanced.  Our emotion regulation skills are centered around reducing our own vulnerabilities to our emotion minds. In particular, when noticing emotional vulnerability, a great skill to check in with are our PLEASE skills. These skills are centered around modulating our emotions. Have I been sleeping? Have I eaten anything today?  Am I over-caffeinating myself? When was the last time I moved my body?  These are all helpful questions that can help recenter our emotional overload, and help us return to baseline.

This week we ask you to check in with your emotional overload. Where are you noticing overwhelm? When was the last time you took care of yourself, and prioritized balance? We challenge you to slow down and focus on your sensations as signals to help guide you to a more wise and centered space.


WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK

SKILL REHEARSAL
We encourage you to practice your STOP skills. Once you slow down, can you mindfully attend to your sensations?
What self soothing can you do for each of your senses?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
Giving Up Isn’t an Option: Turn Your Pain Into Something Powerful with Tracy Cova‪l‬
by Apple Podcast

TED TALKS
All It Takes is 10 Mindful Minutes by Andy Puddicombe
By Ted.com

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
DIY Calming Kits for Kids by theinspiredtreehouse.com

 

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of April 5th

LEVITY

With our days getting longer and the skies a bit brighter, we have been mindful to the sensations of warmth and sunlight. We have noticed an easy smile, relaxed shoulders, and a rhythmic drumming in our chests as we begin our march to summer. These observations are a stark contrast to what we were noticing in our winter months, and they have us considering the functions of light both literally and figuratively.

Concretely, light helps us to see what we otherwise cannot. A metaphorical conceptualization affiliates light with lightheartedness, an easy manner, and levity. This week, we are paying attention to how humor helps change our perspectives to help us see things in new ways.

We all love a good joke. The pros of humor and laughter seem endless! For one, we get to break with the seriousness of life and be playful with a looser, sillier side of our minds. Laughter can bring people together, diffuse conflict, and ease the emotional burden of everyday mishaps. When misused, humor can be invalidating or outright offensive. Maladaptive humor responses could also be avoiding our own emotions, or the emotions of others. When we walk the middle path with using humor, we both see the vulnerability of the moment and simultaneously choose a lighthearted interpretation as a way to get through it.

Can you remember the last time you laughed? What prompted the giggle? We look forward to hearing your funny stories and good jokes if you’ve got ‘em!


WORDS OF WISDOM

MEME OF THE WEEK

SKILL REHEARSAL
Please try capturing your laughter this week. Let’s practice our accumulating positive skill. Can you try to find one opportunity each day for laughter? Try to be mindful of your bodily sensations as you laugh. Do you notice your facial muscles? Try to note your thoughts. Do you notice the urge to share your laughter?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
Laughter: The Best Medicine
by NPR

TED TALKS
Play is More than Just Fun | Stuart Brown
By Ted.com

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
Mason Jar Candles by gardentherapy.ca

 

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of March 29th

POSSIBILITIES

Spring is upon us in the Northeast. This new season, more than any other, brings new beginnings. The birds begin to chirp, the trees begin to bud, and the flowers begin to bloom. Spring is also a time of transition; the cold dark nights fade away into warm sunny days. Hopefully, the warmer weather and longer periods of light are reducing your vulnerabilities to emotion dysregulation. Accordingly, Spring is a time of possibility and opportunity.  Can you see the new opportunities?  Do you find yourself with a renewed interest in movement and self care? It is important to bring intention to the present in order to benefit from the current seasonal change.

During this season of movement and transition, do you rise easily? After a long winter during a pandemic, many can find the new season a welcomed change. Have you had to use your radical acceptance skills to transition into Spring?  Have you cultivated a beginners mindset in order to be as willing as possible?


WORDS OF WISDOM

words of wisdom

CURRENT EVENTS

SKILL REHEARSAL
Can we practice beginners mind this week as we rediscover the changes in our environment?
What do you notice that’s new? What colors do you see in nature that have been missing in winter?
Are you aware of new sounds or more intense sound?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
Podcast Episode 089: Turning Challenges Into Our Most Rewarding Experiences with Eric Winters
by Potential Psychology

TED TALKS
The secret to great opportunities? The person you haven’t met yet | Tanya Menon
By Ted.com

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
Bubble Paint Bouquets by myjoyfilledlife.com

 

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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Week of March 22nd

FEAR

We are officially rolling into Spring this week, and the weather is showing it. Along with the added sunshine, there have been some horrific events of hate in the news recently. It is safe to say that all of us are saddened by these acts of violence. Sometimes fear can lead to negative judgements. We take this week as an opportunity to remind everyone why it is important to challenge our fears and judgments of others.

When we notice fears pop up in ourselves, it is easy to feel alarmed. Instead of following fearful judgments, we can try stopping and slowing down. In DBT, we practice loving kindness in our mindfulness exercises. In this practice, we actively send love and compassion to ourselves first, then others, in an effort to let go of judgements.

Can you think of a recent time when something scared you? Can you remember the last time that you had negative judgments that led to hostile feelings? We hope you can use your STOP skill, slow down and practice loving kindness. How can you practice more love and compassion this week?


WORDS OF WISDOM

CURRENT EVENTS

SKILL REHEARSAL
This week can you practice mindfulness if judgements?
Can you practice bringing loving kindness to your judgmental mind?
What do you notice when you practice compassion when observing judgement?

PODCAST OF THE WEEK
Episode 012: We Hear You
by SelfEvidentShow.com

TED TALKS
What We Can Do About The Culture of Hate | Sally Kohn
By Ted.com

BOOK OF THE WEEK
(Click below to purchase the book)

ACTIVITY
Random Acts of Kindness by thirtyhandmadedays.com

 

RECIPES FOR THE WEEK

CONTRIBUTE
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